they’re like mini-island turtles holy shit



they’re like mini-island turtles holy shit

Hey, I know that guy! He also did a mean Bane impression.

10 weird tricks that will cause the abyss to gaze back!


“‘average coin toss has equal chance of coming up heads or tails’ factoid actually not statistical error” whispers guildenstern in horror. “it’s us, rosencrantz. we are the error. we don’t count.”


a police werewolf who IS the K-9 unit



"average person hath borne me on his back 3 times" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person hath borne me on his back 0 times. Alas, poor Yorick, who hath borne me on his back a thousand times, was an outlier adn should not have been counted

Welp, that pretty much wraps up this meme.


when I was six I threw a tantrum because I wanted a slushie from 711 and I remember my dad said “I will never buy you a slushie” AND LITERALLY RIGHT NOW HE CAME IN THE CAR WITH A SLUSHIE AND I WAS LIKE WHY DIDNT YOU GET ME ONE AND HE LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYE AND SAID “REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE SIX”

Stop saying sorry. Say thank you instead. When you say, “sorry for being a jerk” the other person is forced to either call you a jerk or say it wasnt a big deal. Instead, say “thank you for being so patient with me” so the other person has a reason to say they love you.
I saw this gem on Reddit tonight.  It was posted under a topic of “What ‘little’ things you can do to improve your relationship with your significant other.”  I’m definitely taking this piece of advice with me into my next relationship. (via blakebaggott)
"If he writes her a few sonnets, he loves her. If he writes her 300 sonnets, he loves sonnets."


- my english professor


The Beatles owe soooooo much to teenage girls for their success like i’m pretty sure it was teenage girls who were screaming and fainting at shows and buying all those records and not old ponytailed dudes or moody teen boys with bad hair? and somehow everyone forgets that when they’re yelling about “real music” and putting down teen girls for the performers they get excited about. like whatever. I see you.